I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
