I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
