Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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