Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
