i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize
