So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
