Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
