as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
