but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
We need a shit load of segways right now
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
