You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
