I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
I'm really busy with my period
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