wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
