He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
