We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
