OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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