I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
