At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
