hotel room ftw
So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Randomize
