you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
kristin has been a bad kristin
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
