Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
