Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Redeem this text for a blowjob
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
