Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
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