is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize
