Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
