last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
This toilet bowl is my home.
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