9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
