How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Randomize
