Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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