maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Randomize
