Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Someone shattered a urinal.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
You pole danced in your parka.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
