The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Randomize