It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Randomize
