yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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