hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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