In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I forgot how hot balto sounded
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
