yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Randomize
