I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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