I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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