I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize