Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
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