Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
