The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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