my mouth tastes like poor choices
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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