That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
