Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize