people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
How naked do you want me to be?
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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