i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
