We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
