just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
