That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
