Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
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