from now on my penis is your penis
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
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