why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
this is an emotional support booty call
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize