My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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