my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
