Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
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