Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
