So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
