Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
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