Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Randomize
