Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Randomize
