Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
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