last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
He has the fingertips of a God
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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