I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
