So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize
