you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
farters have to be the big spoon...
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
