His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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