you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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