Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
