im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
