If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
