You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
