Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize
