yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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