I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
